I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
