I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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