so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
