awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
