Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
