I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
