You're so nebulous sometimes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
