I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
