I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ladies don't puke and tell
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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