we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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