Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
