Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
