just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
