Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just invented taco cereal.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
