Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
