I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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