His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
