it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
