I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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