Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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