I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We are two peas in an std pod
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
