he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
