My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
