He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
