have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
