??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
