wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
