If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
