So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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