just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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