I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Randomize
