So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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