what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
