im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
