so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
