the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
