FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
