Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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