I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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