I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize