You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
