Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
