Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
