Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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