Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
