we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
