so that wasnt chicken after all
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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