It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Congratulations! We have a period
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