shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize