THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
