The maid of honor just puked.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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