I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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