She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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