So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
