I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
