i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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