i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
