i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
