what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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