i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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