Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize