I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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