We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
