i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
