She announced her abortion via fbk
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
