We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
