we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
