Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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